If I am repaired, can we meet again for the first time, in all of the places I have feared to go, and then, again, in all of the places I will have forgotten, if I am repaired?



Monday, November 5, 2012

Dear Mr. Happy (a.k.a., my penis)

     In answer to your question: No, I am not trying to chop you off. Don’t be ridiculous. I am fully aware that this has happened twice now, but I promise you, both times were accidents. Besides, if I were trying to chop you off—which I am not—I’d use something sharper than a piece of plywood.

     If it makes you feel any better, I tried to stop the board with my thumb. You should see it. Really. It’s mangled. Far worse than you. You didn’t even take a direct hit. You might actually have my thumb to thank for that.

     Anyway... that's water under the bridge now. I truly am sorry about all the swelling and bruising. Hopefully it will abate soon. In the meantime, please know that I care for you dearly, and pray that you forgive me again, and that our friendship will continue on into the years to come. I would truly miss you hanging around, despite what you might think at present. 



  1. You really DO need to be more careful.....hanging around is not a good trait, especially for a penis.

    1. LOL...I think 'hanging around' is a perfectly good trait for a penis... ;o)


  2. A man that can come to any sort of arrangement with his penis, is okay in my books! (Titles withheld!) I mean, in all fairness, you were very polite.

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  4. That one made me laugh. Very visual! I can't help but wonder though, has your penis ever tried to cut you off? Perhaps your unconscious attempts on his life are a kind of subliminal payback?


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