In answer to your question: No, I am not trying to chop you off. Don’t be ridiculous. I am fully aware that this has happened twice now, but I promise you, both times were accidents. Besides, if I were trying to chop you off—which I am not—I’d use something sharper than a piece of plywood.
If it makes you feel any better, I tried to stop the board with my thumb. You should see it. Really. It’s mangled. Far worse than you. You didn’t even take a direct hit. You might actually have my thumb to thank for that.
Anyway... that's water under the bridge now. I truly am sorry about all the swelling and bruising. Hopefully it will abate soon. In the meantime, please know that I care for you dearly, and pray that you forgive me again, and that our friendship will continue on into the years to come. I would truly miss you hanging around, despite what you might think at present.
S.C.
If it makes you feel any better, I tried to stop the board with my thumb. You should see it. Really. It’s mangled. Far worse than you. You didn’t even take a direct hit. You might actually have my thumb to thank for that.
Anyway... that's water under the bridge now. I truly am sorry about all the swelling and bruising. Hopefully it will abate soon. In the meantime, please know that I care for you dearly, and pray that you forgive me again, and that our friendship will continue on into the years to come. I would truly miss you hanging around, despite what you might think at present.
S.C.
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ReplyDeleteThat one made me laugh. Very visual! I can't help but wonder though, has your penis ever tried to cut you off? Perhaps your unconscious attempts on his life are a kind of subliminal payback?
ReplyDelete