If I am repaired, can we meet again for the first time, in all of the places I have feared to go, and then, again, in all of the places I will have forgotten, if I am repaired?



SC



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Saturday, November 29, 2014

On CAPTCHA's and Crock Pots


CAPTCHA’s... 

          Am I the only one who feels as though I’m going through someone’s underwear drawer, or as if I’ve ratted out a best friend to save my own hide, when I key in CAPTHCHA figures that are obviously the photographed address numbers of god knows whose residence?


    If you knew me—and you kind of do, but not this well—you would know that I hate Crock Pot food. Hate. It. And I’m not a picky eater. Well, I wasn’t. I’m not now either, not really, as long as whatever I’m served is whole, minimally processed, with no egg, sugar, oil, or animal involved. That’s not too picky, is it? I do gluten.

          Anyway, I’m guessing you love your Crock Pot. Most do. Thing is, every meal I’ve ever had from one seemed just shy of baby food, mush. Especially meat. I don’t know, maybe mush is the point. I mean, mush would seem easier for the stomach to convert to... well, mush. But I’m a gnawer. I like chewy. I like crunchy. I don't want a meal that comes with the option of being taken intravenously.

         That said, it was nothing short of bewildering for at least one human to learn that I, Hater-of-all-things-Crock Pot, recently purchased a 4-quart slow cooker. No, not like the one in the picture. Please.

          But here was my thinking: Beans. The musical fruit.

        I had planned to cook beans in the Crock Pot. Throw them in. Turn it on. Leave. Come back. Voila! Beans enough for a couple of day’s worth of meals. Minimal effort. No worries. Genius.

          Think again.

          Crock Pot Hints and Tips

         ‘Beans...’

         ‘Dried beans, especially red kidney beans, should be boiled before adding to a recipe.’

          ‘Boiled’. As in: on a stove, where I can forget them and scorch them permanently to the bottom of yet another pan.

          Stupid Crock Pots.        

                              

6 comments:

  1. I learned the hard way, crock-pot beans are not up to par with the traditional Southern way of cooking on slow for hours, but first boiling.
    First time I did a pot of beans in a crock-pot my husband asked if I had not cooked them long enough.
    Those little legumes need to be broken down before simmering hours on end gently.
    Keep the crock-pot it's good for Christmas Wassail :)
    ~Jo

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    1. There ya go! I like that idea. Thanks, Jo!

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  2. Sorry but you must understand... I'm living in a developing country... we're still working with cast iron stew pans here... and they cost a small fortune too...


    I'd never thought about the CAPTHCHA's before (of course not).
    But you're right...
    If you ever come accross a nice number 14, just knock and come in :)


    stephanie

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    1. I'll be using the cast iron as well, it seems. Minding the pot. Sigh. Oh well, makes for better beans.

      Wouldn't that be funny, if I found your door. I don't have a number on mine. But they have me mapped, at least a good aerial view.

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  3. Yep mushy beans are as bad as bullet beans! I used to soak them overnight and then boil in the morning for 45 min. or so... well till you take a spoonful and blow across the them, and if the skins curl back on the beans they are ready for the crock(not a crockpot) that goes in the oven for several hours.
    But if you forget to soak them over night you can boil them in the morning for 5 min. then let them sit for an hour with the cover on.. but you still have to do the second boil.
    They are just one of those meals that need to tended.

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    Replies
    1. Gwen... I should have known better. That's what yard sales are for, eh?

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