If I am repaired, can we meet again for the first time, in all of the places I have feared to go, and then, again, in all of the places I will have forgotten, if I am repaired?



SC



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Saturday, February 11, 2012

A Lesson From James


‘That’s why I don’t get attached to no animal,’ James said.

          We stood outside my shop in the light from the open door. James was on his way to the Lodge. His truck was still running. He had heard about my dog, knew how I cared for him and just wanted to stop in quick and check on me.

          ‘I had a dog I kindly loved like that when I was a kid,’ he said. ‘She had pups and run off and got herself killed. I ain’t got close to an animal since.’

          James looked through the darkness at his house in the bend above mine, perhaps to see if the porch light was on, which it was.  

          ‘Well, I better git,’ he said. ‘Just wanted to see how you were.’

          He climbed inside his truck.

          ‘Thanks,’ I said.

          I didn’t think any more of James’s condolences until the next day. I was doing some menial task, sanding, my mind wandering over all the little joys my dog, my friend, had brought me, the love we had shared, moments I would never have again but in memory. There were tears. Through them though, I thought of what James had said.

          Why would anyone, I asked myself, deprive themselves of this kind of happiness, this much love, just so they would never have to loose it?

          How silly. How sad. You loose everything eventually. There are so many creatures—animals, people—in the world, any one of which could bring new love and happiness into your life. If you moved from love, to love, to love, without a moment’s hesitation, you could, in theory, live a life free from sorrow, be in constant joy. Love could actually conquer all. Is this not Heaven?

          And I said, ‘Get up. Make more love.’

6 comments:

  1. It happens again and again but it is never the same twice.
    Those who have hate have not experienced love. I still mourn Suzy but there is this feisty pup trying to worm her way in to lick the wound and make me well.

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  2. even with the pain, it is love to love to love.

    what do we do to ourselves in the name of safety, eh? is any heart safe sealed and antiseptic?

    i'd rather the pain.

    you remind me of this later, ok? i'd rather the pain, but first the joy!

    do show photos of the new love))

    xo
    erin

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  3. Sorry for Doggers and for your loss...
    Gwen and I have four mutts...all good friends to us...they light up every day for us, and I'll be ever so sad to see them go when the time comes...

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  4. Good for you, Steve! It's uplifiting to see that you're not going to let this great sadness keep you from loving deeply and unconditionally. *hugs*

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  5. Memories will help along the way. Glad you're keeping your chin up!

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  6. Oh Steve... he died? I'm so sorry!!! One of the great things about moving back from Paris in May was getting my Retriever Puck back! He's old, turns 13 in September, 3/4 deaf, 1/2 blind, can only walk about 100' before having to lie down for a while but still jumps around like a puppy when he hears me open his treat jar. I know the day is coming and I'm dreading it but I'm also really grateful that he knows I love him and, I'll be able to say goodbye. xo

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