So I found myself in bed again late last night with the remnants of a box of Kashi, Go-Lean Crunch, sort of a Granola meets Cracker Jacks—in a soy laden, peanutless kind of way—breakfast cereal. By remnants I mean a couple handfuls. I had fished out the choicer clusters and dusted my bed and bare chest with piddley nibbets and a fine, sticky powder, when it occurred to me that rather than reaching into the bag with my hand, more fork than spoon, I could simply remove the bag from the box and upend its contents into my mouth.
Out comes the bag. I draw both ends tight to make the perfect chute and in the darkness, tilt.
How the contents missed my tongue, I have no idea. But it did, making a clean leap directly into my esophagus. Rest assured, if not my brain, my gag reflex is in fine working order. Gawd. What a mess.
Word to the wise.