If I am repaired, can we meet again for the first time, in all of the places I have feared to go, and then, again, in all of the places I will have forgotten, if I am repaired?



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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Once in a Lifetime... Maybe

A
Of all the things we humans will never get to do in our lifetimes, I think that going into outer space and seeing a chicken lay an egg… in person… are the two least likely to happen.

I can  now cross the latter off of that list.

So, this morning I go out to feed the chickens and gather the eggs that I didn’t gather last night. (Bad Farmer. Bad, bad Farmer).

There’s a hen sitting in the number one nesting box. I figure she’s thinking that since I didn’t collect the eggs last night, they’re hers to sit on. Think again Chicky.

I reach to get the eggs. She pecks me. Whatever. We spar a bit and finally I get her to stand up. She’s straddling three eggs. They’re gross. All muddy or poopy, I don’t know which, but I don’t want her sitting on them. And while I’m trying to find a clean spot to pick them up by, Fonk! A friggin’ egg flies out of no where and hits my hand.

At first I thought the egg was one of last night’s that had rolled up behind the hen when she stood, then rolled back down while she was harassing me for taking the poopy eggs. I guess my brain did not want to accept that I had just witnessed an egg shoot out of a chickens butt, let alone that I almost caught it. And I do mean shoot out. That hen was throwing some crazy heat.

And really, whose brain would want to accept this. The odds of this happening have got to be stupendous—at least as stupendous as getting to ride on the Space Shuttle. But there it was: a shiny wet, new brown egg. Fresh out of the oven.

I love possibilities.

3 comments:

  1. Wow! That is amazing! What an experience! Now, all you need to do is go into space :P

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  2. I wonder about the first person to decide that he was going to eat what comes out of a chickens butt. However that's not near as mysterious as who was the second person.
    Hey man taste this. I just got it out of that chickens butt.
    You know it's only the toss of the evolutionary coin that decided that we raise chickens to eat their eggs instead of chickens raising humans to eat their babies.
    I have never seen them lay an egg but I have waited for one to finish so I could have it. So there I was imagining the chicken saying "you mind waiting until I finish taking an egg?".

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  3. O.F., Maybe they didn't know the eggs were coming out of the chickens hindquarters back then... after all, the Earth was still flat back then.
    I didn't actually have a back view of the egg launching... don't think I wanted to. I've seen too many hens blown out, so to speak.

    I don't know, I guess egg laying is one of those things you always wonder about. I have, any way. Truthfully I thought the hen did all the clucking because of the effort. She didn't make a peep until the egg was in the nest. Then she went bonkers.

    Emmy... There is no chance in heck I am going into outer space. I'll leave that one up to you.

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