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| River, Marina Moevs, 2005 |
“I’m sorry baby… I just can’t.”
“Is it the condom?
“No. No.”
“I mean, we can use one of the old ones if it is. I have them right here in my back pack.”
“It’s not the condom. The condom is fine.”
“I just thought you’d like to try something different.”
“It’s not the condom.”
“Is it me?”
“Of course not.”
“Well what then?”
“Tell me Eric.”
“It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing? I thought we got all the embarrassing stuff out of our systems last summer at Burning Man."
“It’s not like that.”
“Okay. Then what?”
“It’s that goddamn glen down there—the mountains, the river, the trees, the sunset. The whole majestic shebang.”
“I thought you’d love this place.”
“I do. I totally do.”
“So…?”
“I love this place. But I can’t make love in this place.”
“Why?”
“Freakin’ Bob Ross.”
“Bob Ross? As in, ‘The Joy of Painting’, Bob Ross? As in, Mr. Happy Tree Shapes, Bob Ross, with the killer fro, silk shirts and gold medallion?”
“Yeah, that Bob Ross.”
“God, I loved that guy.”
“Me to. I mean, he's the reason I paint.”
“No way.”
“Seriously. I started watching his show with my grandmother, back when I was a kid. I was mesmerized. I've seen every episode.”
“That’s cool.”
Yeah. But now any time I get near a fucking sunset and I can’t get that son of a bitch out of my head. It’s like he’s standing right there, ‘I hope you have your big glass of ice tea, Eric. Now let’s just go ahead and dab a little Alizarin Crimson on our brushes….”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“So like, Bob Ross is painting us right now.”
“Yeah. Tranquil Mountain Lovers.”
“That's kind of creepy.”
“Yeah.”
“And embarrassing.”
“Thanks.”
“Want to go back to the lodge.”
“Mostly.”
I love the imagery in this part:
ReplyDelete" It’s like he’s standing right there, ‘I hope you have your big glass of ice tea, Eric. Now let’s just go ahead and dab a little Alizarin Crimson on our brushes….”"
Gosh, I love Bob Ross :)
Smile...I actually watched Bob Ross shows and apparently you have too. I'm sure he would be smiling in Heaven at your words.
ReplyDeleteThis is great, Love it!!
ReplyDelete... I learned about a month ago that Bob Ross permed his hair.. his was actually straight.. years later when considering it, he felt he couldn't lose it as it was his image... to his dismay he had to keep it.
Ha! I love you.
ReplyDeleteBrilliantly funny! (Friendly little floater clouds...)
ReplyDeleteI used to turn that show on when I wanted to take a nap. His voice was so soooooothing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this might interest you:
http://rbs3.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-am-very-tempted.html