If I am repaired, can we meet again for the first time, in all of the places I have feared to go, and then, again, in all of the places I will have forgotten, if I am repaired?



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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Happy Waste

A
Today I’ve been wondering if the energy that fuels happiness doesn’t create some sort of waste, something toxic, something anti-happy. I’ve been wondering, too, if all this anti-happy doesn’t get stored temporarily in the body somewhere—maybe in the appendix.
Because, today I’ve felt like a big chunk of anti-happy dislodged from some organ inside of me and is poisoning me with crankiness, and that I should maybe go out in the field and yell at dirt until I pass it, like a gall stone.
I’ve been right on the edge of getting mad at something all day today, and I don’t even know what or why. It’s retarded. Toxins are my only explanation: I had a whole month of nothing but happy, happy, happy and now I need to flush the system. Bear with me, if you can. Dog is.           

3 comments:

  1. Steven,

    When my body is full of pent up anti-happy toxins (because I know exactly what you're talking about), I give myself a good, healthy dose of P.G. Wodehouse. It doesn't matter if I've read the book before, but it does help to make me feel better. I've been told that its impossible to be sad (or in this case, cranky) when you're reading Wodehouse.

    Screaming at the dirt sounds like an interesting idea, and may work as well, but it won't be as much fun. ;)

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  2. Without "downs" there is no way to define "ups". A lot of it right now is the "seasonal affective disorder" that Gunner at 1410 Oakwood spoke of today.
    I am suffering from it too and try not to write so much as I tend to get negative.
    It will pass but damn I wish it would hurry as I don't have a lot of time to waste.
    I'm going out and yelling at the dirt again (second time today).

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  3. hmmmm do you know how lucky you are? I have this every month ;)

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